I just found out that someone from my geometry class in high school was found guilty of murder. This is some crazy shit, people. This guy, who I sat next to for an entire year of math, shot and killed someone. He will be in prison for the next 100 years! For him, this puts an entirely new spin on the argument, “When am I ever going to use this in my life??”
If you’re going to murder someone after you graduate high school, you shouldn’t have to go to math class. The pythagorean theorem really becomes frivolous at this point. Maybe if they had a geometry class targeted towards future prison inmates? “Now remember class, A squared B squared = don’t drop the soap!”
“Hey, Ms. Fletcher, I’m going to be killing someone in three years. Can I have a bathroom pass? I’m never going to use this stuff in my life.”
“Now Richard, don’t say that. I can guarantee that you will use this in your life! Now tell me, what is it that you plan on doing with your life? Are you going to become a businessman? Because you surely will need math if you become a business man. Will you become a teacher? You need to know math if you want to be a teacher, especially if you want to be a math teacher!”
“I don’t think you heard me…I’m going to shoot someone. I will be in jail forever. I don’t think the quadratic formula is going to come in handy when I get sold for a button and a pack of cigarettes.”
“Well, geometry comes in handy when you’re shooting someone! You can’t shoot someone with a 90 degree angle, it has to be a straight 180 degrees or else you’ll miss!”
“Ms. Fletcher, you are starting to upset me. I just want to make it clear that I haven’t yet decided who I’m going to shoot……”
“You look tired, maybe you should go home for today. You know what? You get a passing grade, just don’t come back. You’re never going to use this in your life.”
Please, don’t ever kill anyone. Besides the fact that its a horrible idea, you will be wasting all that time you spent in math class.
